When in Rome - do as the Romans?

Hello everyone!

My apologies for taking soo long to post. Well, it's been a whirlwind of a stay here in Rome. Let me begin by saying that Rome is HUGE, super hot and muggy - a veritable concrete jungle. I have had the good fortune of getting lost on the massive public transportation system a number of times, but have recovered in one piece ... my feet may say otherwise if asked. Yesterday, there was a national transportation strike, so moving the old fashioned way was rather useful. Since my arrival, I have been overwhelmed with people's (mostly migrants) willingness to talk about ageing, eldercare, and the migrant women who work as caregivers or badanti. Finding Italians - that is, children in their 50s-60s who have either opted to use the services of a badanti, or have chosen to care for their elderly parents, themselves, has been more of a challenge. To quote an Italian priest whose help I sought to try and find some of these Italians, "You want to speak to the children of the elderly? That's going to be very difficult - they are all very busy you know." Things are moving along, though. Through some family contacts here, I am inching in on this community. Not surprisingly, it is mostly women who coordinate the care of their elderly parents. I've asked about the role of Italian men, and the usual response is that Italian men don't think to be coordinators of care - not that they necessarily wouldn't do this job, it is just not something that they expect to do.

Growing older in Italy doesn't appear to be a well-received phenomenon. Most of the functional elderly (late 70s/80s) that I have interviewed have said that they would much rather be on the other side already. A typical response goes something like Really, what am I doing here, except taking up space and costing money. Among younger Italians (50s/60s), there is a hope that they will not live that long, although most expect that they will, given the current phenomenon. The 50s/60s Italians are a busy group with a number of extra-curricular activities that I cannot imagine keeping track of. There are book clubs, choir rehearsals, as well extra gatherings of such groups, just to "get together." Those that are grandparents among this age group like playing the part of grandparent, but also enjoy having their own time.

There is a senior social center near the apartment where I live that I try to frequent at least once a week in the evening when it is most active. A decent number of "seniors" that frequent the center aren't people that I would consider seniors at all, but rather early retirees by American standards. It is a challenge to think of somebody in their late 50s and early 60s as a senior citizen. Most Sunday mornings I frequent a Ukrainian congregation, and then a Latin American congregation in the afternoon. I've also frequented a Filipino congregation Thursdays. Nevertheless, I think that the strongest links that I have built among the migrant communities have been among the Ukrainians, which is fabulous, considering that most of the women who work as badanti are from the Ukraine. Contact with the Romanian community, which is the migrant community that I originally thought would be accessible, has been limited.

Highlights

• I "learned" how to dance the tango at the senior center;
• I've twice been offered jobs as a babysitter and as a badante; it is an interesting time to look ethnic in Italy, since most Latin American women work as caregivers or domestic workers;
• If I had more time, I might have given it a go, although I have to admit that the job of being with an elderly person 24 hours a day, almost seven days a week with only Thursday afternoons and and all of Sunday off seems quite daunting;
  
• Rome is full of migrants from all over the world it seems, and at times, the tension created by the need for migrants, especially caregivers, and the lack of regularization of such migrants, is palpable;
  
• Most migrant women that I spoke with have stated that although the Italians have told them that they are considered family, this is usually only the case until she does something that doesn't fit well with the expectations of the Italian family (i.e. finding a better paying job, and announcing that she is leaving the family);
• The Italians that I have spoken with are split regarding whether they would consider the badante as a member of the famliy; it depends on how family is defined - to paraphrase The line between being considered family is difficult because you are paying somebody to not only meet the physical needs of your parents, but to keep your parent company, which is a family expectation, no?
  

The increasing number of elderly and migration are topics that are frequently touched upon by the Italian media, so the timing for the topic is perfect. The first picture is a celebration held by the ACLI (roughly Association of Christian Labor Workers) to celebrate family and migrants. It was interesting to see the parade of nationalities with the Italian national anthem playing in the background. The second picture, of course, is the Colosseum - typically Roman, and Italian.

Hope everyone is doing well. : D